No one cares – I wish that were true.
A while back someone commented on one of my posts: no one cares.
I wish that were true, but it’s not.
We all care.
We all care too much.
We don’t love.
We don’t love enough.
But caring, yeah, we have that one down really well.
We care so much we are constantly busy with caring. We share, we meet up, we give and we buy things for each other. We are always thinking how to give and share our caring. We are taken over with our need to care and keep showing how much we care.
How much? Is this too little? Does this show just enough? Or too much? Oh, is this just right? Does that person care more than me? When is the best time to care?
We mistake caring for love.
Instead of sharing love, giving love freely, we share our caring. Not the same. They are NOT the same.
When we love, we give openly, not thinking, not caring, not knowing or considering the outcome, the results, or repercussions. When we love we pour out our heart and soul into something, someone and let it be. Let it go. Once it’s out there, we don’t think of it. We don’t bite our nails, we don’t wonder, what if, we don’t consider, what’s next. It’s just our love gone out there into the world.
When we care, we are always measuring how much to give and what is needed, and what the desired end result ought to be. If we make something for someone, they must eat it if it’s food…or wear it if it’s clothing…or enjoy it if it’s tickets to an event or a party. Don’t they? That’s caring…caring about how we change that person or that person’s life. We care so much, we must make that person better, stronger, smarter, healthier, brighter, blah blah blah, on and on.
If we give something out of love, it doesn’t matter what happens to that food or clothing, or tickets or any gift, once it leaves our hands. If we share ourselves out of love, we give it and expect nothing in return. Nothing. Love simply is and giving it is an extension of us. Once we begin caring, it twists our love into knots. It becomes unrecognizable, masquerading.
‘if you love me, then…’ ever hear that one before?
‘I do this/say this because I care about you…’ just as painful and obviously not love.
Caring is all about the mind. ~ Thinking
Love is all about the heart. ~ Feeling
When we care, we expect. We expect results. We expect thank you’s. We expect change. We expect respect. We expect a nod, something, anything. We have expectations from that person because we gave something and that is where caring is not enough. Let’s not fool ourselves into thinking we love someone because we care.
Disaster. This is no way to live. Building a life, relationships, families, raising children on caring expectations alone. Hoping, always hoping for this or that to happen. Where is the love then? When do we simply love and allow? We can love and care at the same time, or best to love first and then care second, maybe.
Caring and giving and providing and hoping and expecting doesn’t leave any room for love. It creates ‘shoulds’ and ‘woulds’ and ‘I have to’s'… Sad. Obligations. Responsibilities. The love and wonder are pushed aside.
When we feel a burst of love for anything and act on it, that is magic. Just watch a child. A little child does it constantly. Everything is a delight. Sometimes he gets hurt. True. But he doesn’t care. Within moments the rapture of love for something else opens up his heart again and he smiles and laughs.
If we must care out of duty, a sense of responsibility, or guilt or whatever reason we choose, fine. Care. Let’s not mistake the caring actions for love. They are not the same. We may say we love what we do or love this person, but really it is a form of caring and maintaining our status quo in a relationship, with a friend, a lover, a family dynamic, at work, wherever.
Ultimately, love has no boundaries. Love is careless. Love just pours out. If this is difficult to understand, love is not there guiding you. Try again.
If we loved more, we could care less.