Thinking or feeling your way – Finding your Passion
Life is a journey.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
You will never get there if you just stand there.
Oh the sayings just go on don’t they.
When I embarked on my life journey, little did I know. The little I knew was: work hard, focus, study, work harder. Don’t feel too much and think about everything. Question everything. Be safe. Be strong and carry on. (yes another cliché)
From early on my focus was heavy on the aromatherapy work, reflexology, healing and essential oils. It has been wonderful to be in alternative healing but it didn’t soothe my soul. It was what I was good at. I became very good at it. I understood it completely. It was flat. Most importantly it didn’t complete me. For years I have worked with plants, with essential oils, and with my garden plants. I have a green thumb, so it was relatively easy. In the back of my mind something was always out of synch. Incomplete and missing pieces.
So what was it?
I had been leading my journey by thinking, or more accurately, over-thinking the paths to take. How uninspiring. Do you ever do that: think too much?
Time has come to grow a new healingmuse garden. The ‘back of my mind’ missing piece(s) was/is photography and the great outdoors. My love for photography has always been there, just shoved deep inside of me and termed insignificant. I’ve been taking pictures all my life and loved everyone minute of it. BUT WAIT. Taking pictures can’t possibly be important can it?
I must save the world, I must help the world. <— that was the old motto – ‘must try to save everyone’
Unfortunately, that is a motto motivated by fear, learned patterns, old habits not by love or passion for that life.
Now to change.
Last year, I completed a 2 year president term running a non-profit aromatherapy organization, cfacanada.com. It was quite labour intensive but it provided an abundance of insights into what I truly wanted and what I didn’t want. I learned I wanted to lead with my heart and I also learned I was done leading large groups of people. I wanted and needed to focus on myself.
The beginning of this year I took on the word of the year: PAUSE
The first part of the year was still quite hectic tying up loose ends of stewardship, but as late spring rolled around, I could breathe better. The subtle approach of PAUSE could be felt. Taking a step back from it all has helped me expand my horizon. The past few months, I have spent contemplating the photographer’s journey and moving closer to it everyday.
Now in mid-summer, I know, in my heart, I want to photograph everything and everyone, all the time. I wish to travel and be outdoors. I could live on my bike, hike, swim, and camp all year round. I wish to explore mountains, jungles, lakes and oceans. That is where my true passion lives. It feels like a tremendous change, somewhat overwhelming and daunting. To complicate matters, I have no idea how to create this world of photography around me and make ends meet, but as my friend said ‘I have to just trust the universe’.
I take another step back now and explore the view. Pausing. Feeling. Abandoning the thinking for now.
Just waiting. I feel the winds are changing. And I smile.