Week away from my life - A Covid time

Posted by Monika Meulman on

time off

Time off with Covid is not like a break, holiday, nor even a flu infection. For me, having the coronavirus was like being away from life: away from the day to day and completely away from the attachments of life. The fever came on all of a sudden. One morning I was working out (it was a day of Thanksgiving weekend) and a few hours later, I could barely move. I laid down to rest with a fever of 38 deg Celcius. My body tends to run a bit on the cooler side of 35.5 deg usually so once I get above 37, I feel aches and pains all over my body. 
 journey at sunset heading west
It was a fascinating journey getting through several days of fever. I slept, rested and hours passed by unnoticed. I was aware of a vague passing of time but none of the usual draws of day to day chores, work, errands and connections to my community mattered.

a lot of time for nothing

My mind checked out completely. Nothing seemed to matter. I experienced periods of aches all over especially in my stomach, chest and joints. I remember thinking how little I was thinking. When my fever was high and the aches were too much, I took some pain relief medication and drifted off to sleep.
My biggest accomplishments throughout the feverish days were: getting to the washroom, drinking tea and eating a piece of toast. My ultra slow walking down the hall or even just getting changed was a grand event all on its own.
drinking tea and rest for recovery from an infection
Though painful and highly disruptive, I was keenly aware of the focus this coronavirus infection brought me. Each step, each moment, every single action of my body required so much commitment. Pushing myself forward, to move faster was not an option. Time took on a very different meaning. I felt so in tune with the struggles my body was experiencing, that I could sense a whole new level of understanding and patience developing within me.

meditation zone

I felt like I was immersed in a meditation program of my own design. Nothing seemed to matter except the next sleeping position in bed. Making a cup of tea was all that existed for a time. After several days of moving at a snail pace, the fever subsided. My body slowly came online. Now, about a week into recovery, I feel I am comfortable moving at 50% of my regular pace. I feel stronger. I feel able and ready to take on more challenges and work. Yet, something is different. I am at peace. I had a profound, deep week of ultra quiet within. It changed me. The pushing is gone. The striving to get each day done is gone. I feel oddly more familiar with my body than I have ever felt before. I wonder if you or someone you know has had this type of experience. The week 'away' from my life provided me the space to introspect. It offered me ample moments to appreciate the phrase 'time is relative'.

recovery and retrospect

Maybe there is still some lingering slowness within my body along with some remaining symptoms. I always joke that I am like a turtle: moving slowly, exploring the depths of life, one contemplative reach at a time. Now, I feel more in tune with the turtle energy than ever. I feel I learned to respect my space, my pace, my every moment in a way I could not even fathom before. I feel I have learned to value my personal resources more than ever before. And, most importantly, I am profoundly aware of the teaching that: rest, nourishment and love are the core requirements of living. I am happy to be on the mend and deeply appreciative of being fortunate enough with a comfortable, warm home and a caring family to support me, when I simply could not.

kindness matters

I wonder if every pain point, every interaction with discomfort is first and foremost an opportunity to be kind, compassionate and patient with yourself, before all else.
I value the wisdkindness and compassion matters take time to show itom of my body and its ability to shift gears so effortlessly as needed. I am thankful for the learning and insights this experience offered. And, I am grateful for my family that cared for me with their generous time and nurturing.
I am also curious, if you have had an illness or a time 'away' with an infection where you gained an invaluable life lesson or two.

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